Friday, September 25, 2009
Hell hath no fury like a women scorned, now i can finally apply this proverb into my life. I can truly understand how malicious or dissolute one can be, when one decides to take revenge. My behaviour towards you is as common as a muck ,as i know i am not a gentleman , but now i really dread the old days that we had together. Moreover, i know i am as daft as a brush , that i cannot understand creatures of the opposite gender, as i am mutable.
Ann conan , a philosopher, as she is aptly termed, once said this , God's love and protection for us is immutable as he is an immutable being ,but in contrast , our love and protection towards one another is constantly mutating....
I do not truly advocate that point given by the philosopher, but the truth has entered the light , yet i could not endeavour in accepting the fact that my love for you will ebb away, as swift as lightning. I can valiantly tell you that my love for you will never mutate, although we, as human beings, are mutable.
In due seasons, i hope you can understand this post, thus understanding how i feel. I am truly sorry for the actions that i had had done to you, as i am quite ignorant about your feelings at that moment.
Labels: I am sorry that i did such a stupid thing to you...
` the last name was written at
10:51 PM
I am starting to show apathy towards you, but i did not do it deliberately. I know, that through God's benevolence, we are together. But, sometimes having you is not all i want, as i know having you physically, but not having you wholeheartedly, is pointless.
Sometimes, i may be as straight as a die, but that is because i want to bring across to you, how i feel. I am sorry if you are as cross as two sticks, for i know i should not have done that stupid thing, or ask a rhetorical question, yet not attend to your feelings.
I know you are a altruistic person, a person that will be willing to give, yet not want any rewards. I know i changed my tune, when i post this post, i know that my method of showing love to you is unorthodox.
I do not merit you, as i know i am grotesque and stupid, eveytime, when we go out with your friends, i would need you to haul me.... Now, you have incapacitate me to love another person, as i have truly given my love to you...
In conclusion, i would just want to let you know that i will always be at beck and call to you..... i will never forsake, nor forget you.... but i am afraid one day you might forget me.....
` the last name was written at
2:47 AM
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Life has its ups and downs, yet sometimes i am not entirely abandoned to this phrase, cause it seems to me like there are only permanent downs, or worst but never ups. It seems like my end is in the wind and that my problems are in tow with me, so closely that i am about to break down. Everytime, i endeavour to reactify whatver mistake i had contrived.
Now the hindsight seems to be speaking to me, enlightening me, in every step i take. i always hoard my feelings for you, as you are always in a horde, thus i could not devise a moment with you, aloof. Everytime i speak to you, it seems like i am hoaxing, not down to earth. It seems like i am living in a world of illusions.
Evidence has proven itself, rhetorical questions, will generally put you in jeopardy. I know it is a false analogy, thus i am commiting a fallacy. But, i really cannot take this kind of injustice anymore.... just when my teacher taught me that justice will always prevail.
I know i am hoarse and coarse, in trying to prove my stand, but afterall, justice precisely never prevail. Atleast, not when you needed it the most. I seriously need a personal time with you, for with you, my guts and courage will rise up, hence i can face the set-backs i have, valiantly.
Looks like it is time, i slow down and think, and not to be too tentative, trying to get some premonitions, predictions or prophesies that you will always be in a horde. Maybe, the problem lies with me, not having time for you.....
` the last name was written at
6:10 AM
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Life as it seems is not as smooth-sailing as it should be, i know i am ignorant to lots of things in life and that i have not endeavoured on them, thus i am quite an ammatuer in handling life.
I am despondent, when you did not reply my messages and calls, i would rather you castigate me, then to ignore me. I am sorry, truly apologetic. now i know how it feels like to be ignored by people your care about.....
I am not intrinsically good at seeking forgiveness, as i always never mean what i say, yet i can understand how you feel if i am in your shoes. I know i am at fault for being levity, when i am suppose to be serious. I promise never to frolic with your blog or giving you unnecessary comments......
I know i am just a smattering at english, but everyone is not impeccable. I am now, topsy-turvy about what i did, to make you so incensed. I know my apologies are travesty of the truth, but now i want to let you know that i do not like you being despondent or anguish or incensed, as whenever you have those feelings, i would be dull and have the feeling of ending my life, instantaneously.
Now i had one eye on you, i am not a stalker, but i am afraid you might rebuke me or reprimand me, like how you did the previous time. I know receiving a hornet's nest is not an easy task, but with no comments, how can one improve? i hope and trust that by saying this, you would not feel indignant or anger, as i did not post this to incur your wrath, i just want you to know that i did not mean to hurt your feelings.....
I am quite hostile to your presence with isaac, but i know that is inevitable, yet i want you to understand that i did not have any motive, other than being despondent.
I am sorry, really sorry, truly apologetic, i know i should not have said those words to hurt your feelings.... i am sorry,.... please forgive my ignorance.... hope you can understand my perspective....
` the last name was written at
6:52 AM
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Today, i dawdle around the school questing for you. I dastardly walked towards you and sat by you, i felt debility whenever i am with you, as i am debarred from messaging you....
You are debonair and vibrant, you always make my day feels right, without you my life just cannot go on. I know i am defile, i am not as immaculate as you thought. i really delve for something more then friends between us, yet i could not accept the truth from you. I just cannot compromise, the truth that was set before me. Now i dread a conclave time with you, as i felt a compunction, when you are adjacent by me and not with your friends. I know it is very obnoxious.
I know you had blot out alot of things that was not disclose, but having you by my side is not just as a duck takes to water. As you are always away from your desk, i know i am demanding, but it is because victoria, always do this to me that is why i am quite plaintive about it....
Yet, everytime, you came into my life and brigthened it, at the eleventh hour.. I know you are at heart a caring person, a prodigy in moral values... Now, i am struggling to abandon myself to dispair, but everytime, when i think of you, i would abase myself so as to appease the calamity and befuddles i had in my life....
i accede to my defeat, if there is a better guy out there that you like.... I know i could not hold you for long, as i know one day, you might just slick out of my hands and into others...
Afterall, a picture holds a thousand words.... i do not know when will i fall into dispair, as i am still struggling with it....
` the last name was written at
2:40 AM
Monday, September 14, 2009
Today, was suppose to be a day, where people would give a tumultuous welcome for happiness. A day, where i would find it delectable to endeavour....
Yet, anguish enter into my day,i thought i could bask in the happiness that today had to offer, but something that is an off-beat came in and spoiled the happiness.
I know i should not have been so dissolute, inhumane, godless, malicious and incorrigible. i know i should not be a cynic and should try to be more optimistic. i know i do not merit your love for me...
Now, it seems like i am oblivious to everything in life,now i know what kind of superlative havoc, chaos or pandemonium, life can offer.... sometimes, i quest for the love from you, but i know that is just a wishful thinking....
This time i have the resolve to keep my love for you, for i will not change the person that i like...
but sometimes it is quite hard to stifle an arduous, love for you.... now i feel indignant and aloof.
I should not have tamper into your traumatic, or appalling situation... i am sorry, but i really want you to be adjacent by me and to share your burden with me... i hope i can valiantly show you how much i love you, but everytime when i am about to, i deliberate on it and think meticulously, yet wary of what i can say....
Now i know, how much avarice could cause a person's destiny. i really try to contrive a plan to ignite the intellingence in me.... But all of that was just a pertext for myself, to dispel all the doubts i have for my love for you....
you are ardent and immaculate, but i am an exceeding cynic, i really vied to keep myself from being anonymous and ostracize by society...
I know, it is a derisive comment, i should not have said all those ominous comments..... My energies are depleting.... i am really very exhausted now.... i do not want to manifest my anguish, but i really cannot take this bleak data anymore....
i keep on espionaging you, i just cannot keep my feelings to myself.... i am encircled by the sorrows that you have given me.... i know i am eccentric, but please do not feel disdain, as i did not wish for this to happen too.....
Guess next time, i should try to be more congenial... i am sorry, but i really feel aloof and indignant.... i am really burned out....
` the last name was written at
5:22 AM
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Today, i had an obligatory event that i had to attend.
It was a bible quest that our company had been anticipating for, it seems like after the AQ and the inter-company games day, our company, 11 coy, had became a microcosm of the boy's brigade world.
As usual, i was ousted from my COS position and been thrown to a job, which i really loathe, it was road safety marshal. What's more, i had to push the rickety gate, to let cars in and out of Christ Church Secondary School.
The exodus of the boys and officers, as they are aptly termed, were indeed perilous, as they walked on the road, with no anxiety or worry.
The brutality of the officers whom assigned us to the gates, caused my feelings to dilapidate, it truly impinged me, never to volunteer ever again.
But, after today's event, it has intrigue me to continue on my cca, no matter what thick and thin i had to go through......
` the last name was written at
4:28 AM
